I am ready to dream a dream with her (2018-2020)
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My dear Midori,
How have you been there since then?
I am still here, and would like to ask you to wait for me for a while.
I want to reiterate how precious moments I could have with you when looking back the five years we spent together over creating our works. I remember you said ‘thank you’ at times, but I am wondering how many times I said it to you. So I am writing you this letter.
I love your ‘SOMEBANA’ works, which are fabricated from your sensitive mind and fingers. Therefore, it was five years ago, in the winter of 2015, when you asked me to join your work that was under the theme of Prayer, I became so pleased, happy, and thrilled. At the same time, however, I got shocked and lost my words on your confession of your stage-3 cancer. “God knows my way to go from now on.” You simply added the phrase ---- as if you tried to ease my silence.You always seemed to be in imperturbable calm to me, and I assumed it was because you had certain prayers inside. I remember I once asked what prayer meant to you. Your answer was “Prayer means dialogue with him, and my flowers embody it.” I am not sure I could understand it instantly, but I was mysteriously moved on the spot.
I visited Nagatsuka Monastery in Hiroshima, which you introduced me to, and at that time, my purpose was to try to find and understand the meaning of prayer for me.The days I spent there in a calm and silent environment surrounded by woods. I tried to speak to myself, and seek my innermost essence. I think I could have experienced at a moment to be filled with gratefulness, sometimes felt unstable, arrogant emotions.I think that there, I discovered that prayer for me just meant my wishes. I knew I could do nothing for your fate. I have to admit I was always frustrated that I had no power to change it and felt a tightness in my chest. One thing, but just one thing I could have made up my mind there was that I would keep creating works with you, and dreaming a dream in which we share enjoying accomplishment of our collaboration down the road. This could make me finally feel reaching a prayer.
The monastery had many windows, and I stared at the holy, transparent stream of lights from them timelessly.
It never goes away from my memory that you delighted very much with the title of our work I sent you, and shortly returned with saying, ‘Souls never die.’
I hope you are also looking forward to meeting me, and just in case I would like to make extra sure that you have to be prepared to go along many questions with many thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Paper : Japanese handmade paper " AWAGAMI Bamboo"
Print : Archival pigment print